Chocolate Meltdown

This entry was posted on February 4, 2015, in AMYgdala-la-la-land and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments

I got into a car accident on the way to work yesterday.  It was wet and rainy and during rush hour. Prior to the accident, I was driving along happily (picture whistling). When I arrived at the point on the freeway where two major thoroughfares merge together, I stepped on my break, and without warning, my little blue sedan hydroplaned into a big SUV.  It wasn’t a major accident. The rush hour traffic was slow enough that no one got hurt, but my car, and my pride sustained notable damage.

The nature of my work requires that I maintain my composure in order to be a source of support for others who are dealing with difficult times. So, when I did get to work, (two hours late) I had to keep my emotions and anxieties from talking to the police, in check.  As I came closer to the end of my shift,  it became more and more difficult to hold my crazy in. It was as if my emotions were doing the pee dance.

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Okay. Hold on. You can do it. Just Twwoooooo- ooo- oooo- more minutes.

Once I got home, I let it all out. I cried about the fact that I got into an accident. I cried about the fact that the front of my car is jacked up. I cried about the fact that my jacked up car and I got a ticket and the SUV didn’t get a scratch (not that I wanted it to, just sayin’). I cried at the thought of having to pay for all of this. I cried about the fact that I am pregnant and I haven’t figured out a cute-sy way to tell everyone yet. Before I knew it, I was also crying about the fact that I never did get to go to space camp when I was a kid.

All of the worries and irrational concerns I’d ever had jumped out from their hiding places in my mind and yelled:

“BOO! BAH HahahahHA! You thought you’d gotten rid of us, but you were SORELY mistaken! Muahahahaaa!”

The flood of emotions didn’t stop there. My tears turned to anger.

“Hey, remember that supposed “dear” friend you made the movie poster for? And, he promised you over and over again how much more work he would give you? And how he would pay you, but he never did? You should probably hate him right now.”  And at that moment, I did.

I didn’t know what to do with all of these feelings. So, I found some chocolate, and I ate it. I ate it thinking of how much I love it and I hate it. And then it was all better. The pregnancy hormones must have gotten to me…

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39 thoughts on “Chocolate Meltdown”

  1. 😦 That’s majorly sucky! Car accidents are the worst! Especially when they write you a ticket. Been there, done that, feel your pain. Except I got to cry about it immediately, I can’t imagine having to hold that in at work without being like, “oh yeah, well u wanna hear about MY day???” to all your callers. I’m glad everyone is okay!!!!

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    • Thank you, Chris!! That makes me feel so much better to know I’m not alone in dealing with something like this, or in crying about it! I wasn’t entirely able to hold it in until after work. I called my mom and a friend I work with after the accident, and a little of it slipped out then, too. 😛

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  2. Sorry to hear about the car accident. I’m glad you weren’t hurt! Sometimes we have delayed reactions to things. We oddly keep things in check until finally we get a moment alone, and then we let it all out. That’s healthy, I think. And the exact thing that calls for a little chocolate. Or a lot… Congrats on the pregnancy!

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    • Thanks Ben!! It means a lot to hear you say I will be a good mom!! I hope I will, and that I don’t have too many ravenous chocolate incidents in front of the little buddy. I haven’t announced it on Facebook yet, but I am working on something! 🙂

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  6. I’m glad you are okay. And thanks Chocolate for being there. The therapist that doesn’t charge be the hour. In fact, that should be Chocolate’s new motto. Chocolate…if you use that, don’t you cut me out. Remember where it came from.

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  8. I had so many at fault accidents when I was younger and I would literally get hysterical. Lol So embarrassing to think about. Somehow they always involved being focused on boys. I just wanted so bad to undo it. I knew my parents would have to pay or help me pay. I knew my Dad would have to get a side job and that he would gladly do it. Their agent made them exclude me from their policy. I still have accidents and I still want to undo it and though I don’t do the stupid cry, I’m usually very angry with myself and I do shed tears. Lucky Wreck literally! So glad u are ok Ames!

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    • Oh no! The agent made them exclude you from their policy?! Snap! Thanks for sharing that and making me feel better 🙂 That’s funny that you said “Lucky Wreck” literally. HA! I was kinda thinking that, too!

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  10. Oh…my freaking goodness. This was too funny:

    t became more and more difficult to hold my crazy in <<<<<<<<<<<

    !!!!

    🙂 I feel you, sister. When things get that crappy that fast- there's only chocolate. (And wine. Which are surprisingly perfect together.) Also- wait-WHAT? PREGNANT?

    Wowwww…. Well congratz on that, Amy! From a 4 time Mom to another- let me tell you- being pregnant is like having a PMS- no, PMDD marathon. No kidding. It's awful. I remember crying while watching a Kodak commercial. I was like, "Damn. I'm pregnant." (And I was.)

    I'm so glad you and the baby are alright in that accident though. Things could have been MUCH worse. It does suck that that happened to you though; I swear, sometimes life is like a Seinfeld episode, isn't it? One. Big. Long. Seinfeld episode! :0)

    More than anything, I'm glad you posted about it. I've learned over the years that posting is total therapy! it's scary sometimes, being so vulnerable. But the risk pays off and in the end, people connect with you so much more. You're REAL. :0) Love you! xo

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    • Thank you, Brigitta! And, yes, it IS like one big Seinfeld episode! Hahaa!

      Actually, I also got married on December 12, but I haven’t blogged about that, yet 😛 Everything seems to have happened all once!

      Anyway, I was just telling a friend last night, about how much the premarital class we took in October made me feel like I was in a Seinfeld episode, so it was especially funny to see YOUR Seinfeld comment as well! AHH! So many things to blog about!

      Thank you, too for sharing your own experience with being pregnant. Knowing that I’m not the only one who gets so emotional is very comforting to me 🙂 I couldn’t agree more. Posting IS good therapy. Sometimes scary, but ultimately really good. It is also SO helpful to get so much encouragement and support from people like yourself. Sending it right back atcha right now! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      • Wow, congratz on getting married too! WOW. You really do know how to keep a secret, don’t you? ;0) I couldn’t be happier for you, seriously. Be sure to get his social security # because if you ever have to hunt him down for child support, start with that. (SO inappropriate!)

        You, of all people, would appreciate my dark humour…heheh. On the real though, I do hope that he brings you many MANY days of love, laughter, joy, and well…rocking sex. 🙂

        xo

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  11. I’m so sorry about the accident. And about the ensuing attack of formally latent emotions.

    On another note, “It was as if my emotions were doing the pee dance”, is one of the most brilliant descriptions I have ever read. So good. Thank you for defining my life in a single statement.

    Okay, sorry again about the accident. Glad you found some chocolate. 🙂

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  12. Holy CRAP!! I do love how you creatively announced your pregnancy. CONGRATULATIONS AMY!!!!! I’m so happy for you! That baby is so lucky because you will be the best mom! Love you!!

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    • Thank you so much, Dawn! That means a lot. I hope I’m a good mom, and that this child doesn’t have excessive chocolate conniption fits! 😀 I’m always so happy to “see” from you!! ❤

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  13. I’m pleased you weren’t injured…oh, and, congratulations! It’s better to let all those emotions out, but I admire you for managing to hold it together until you got home

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  15. Sorry I’m a little late commenting on this! I’m so sorry that this happened to you!! I know what it’s like to have to hold emotions in at work. And I didn’t know you were pregnant! Congratulations!!

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    • Thank you, Jessica! No worries about ever being late or not getting a chance to comment. I totally understand! I’m just happy to have you here, anytime! 🙂

      I tend to be a little quiet about things sometimes 😀 I haven’t written anything about getting married in December, yet, either 😛

      I’m always so nervous about accidentally writing something that will offend anyone I know, but, I’ve also read that good writers take risks. I think I need to work on that… 😉

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