Some Thoughts as a White Lady


This is a picture of my daughters hand on my hand. I noticed a contrast in skin color, so I took a picture.  It kind of makes me wonder, what is race? This is my daughter – we have the same blood – how is skin color any different than eye color or hair color? Why does it matter?

As a white woman, I have always believed that not seeing color is not being racist. But, what I am slowly beginning to understand, is that not seeing color, is not seeing the problem, and not seeing the problem IS the problem.

There are Black people in this world that I love with all my heart. People who have listened to me, comforted me and supported me all while showing kindness and patience despite my ignorance.  To them, and all people of color, I want to say that I know I will never fully understand what you are going through, and what you have been through, but I support you. I am learning because of you. I am becoming better because of you.  I see what is happening in the world, and how so many people are speaking up for justice.  We are becoming  a stronger, braver and wiser nation, because of you. This world is a better place, because of you.  I have a long way to go, and a lot more to learn, but it’s about time you to have the upper hand. It’s time for you to be heard, and for me to step aside and listen.

10 thoughts on “Some Thoughts as a White Lady

  1. THANK YOU!! And I am in complete agreement! My daughter is white, but my grandson (her son) is black (or 1/2 black??). I love him with all my heart (maybe more than my daughter – LOL.), and I have never noticed the color of a persons skin, only the content of their heart. I have a large number of Hispanic, black, white, Asian friends and some in the family that I do not see their color. I see their eyes when I talk with them, their teeth when we laugh together, and their heart when we comfort each other. Great post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, helbergfarmstories 🙂 I see so many incredibley strong and beautiful hearts in the world right now. Thank you for taking the time to look at this <3.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful! Our grandson is Mulatto and beautiful. He is the light in my eyes, very intelligent, talented and funny. He is totally unaffected by his races, he is just Paulie. He is being brought up sharing 3 cultural differences and I think it makes him quite well-rounded.

    We have nine grandchildren and each one is unique.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful this is and how beautiful you are. I am so proud to be your mother and to have you carry on my love for writing in such a meaningful and lovely manner! Awesome is what you are! 🙂


  4. You’re right in that not seeing color is also not seeing the problem. I thought “colorblind” was a good thing when I was younger, but it discounts what has happened to people because of color. It’s a way to feel like you’re a good person, and in some ways, has been encouraged. That’s where “clueless white ally” shows itself very plainly to everybody else. I thought I was a good person, but certainly didn’t have any black friends or hispanic friends (granted, I suck at making friends, but I didn’t realize it was old ingrained fears I hadn’t gotten over that made it that much harder. Damn, college was an enlightening lifesaver!)

    Took me a while to drop that idea of color-blind myself, because our history and position in society has made us different. Ignoring the truth of history doesn’t help. Nobody should be treated differently because of birth or skin color, but insisting on colorblindness is sticking your head in the sand. It’s uncomfortable to know when you’ve screwed up–and the universe knows I sure have–but I’ve never thrived well in ignorance; I’d rather know and improve, even if it hurts.


  5. This is everything Amy! I love you and your family more than words can say and I am hopeful that this is a turning point for all of us, we are all learning!


  6. Girrrrrl, I’m from the hood! I was the only White girl in a 98% predominantly Black community for 3 years. Lived next to the #1 substance enthusiast (😁) who stole my AFDC check so nobody else would, then he safely gave it to me after I was home. White people are so ignorant- it’s just the truth. Think they know, but they don’t. You got your hood stripes, kid. Good for you. 😉 Love you, J! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so so much, Brigitta! I know there is still a lot I don’t know and can never know. I hope knowing that I don’t know works. HA! MY Amygdala hurts 😀 So happy to see YOU!!! 🙂


      • Not knowing can be a blessing sometimes because there’s so much conjecture and other people’s opinions…blargh! Ya know? Whoever inherited you as a family member- I really hope they know, truly, what a gem they got. You’ve always flown super straight and super cool, meaning, you are one of the baddest ******* I know. 😁 And I mean that. So glad to see you finally in your element, man! You’re rocking it righteously, and def blessed UP. ❤️💕❤️


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