Who Could I Have Been?

I wrote a Poem. Or rather, I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting as well as reading an abundance of Dr. Seuss books. When I read Dr. Seuss books I find myself thinking in rhymes, so this is what came out of that combination 😀

Who could I have been 
If I’d thought I was just okay
Who could I have been
That I’ve not become today

Who could I have been
If I’d only loved myself
Instead of wanting to be perfect
For everybody else

Who could I have been
If I’d been my own best friend
Instead of giving so much credit
To the critic from within

Who could I have been
If I’d let myself be free
Instead of looking for approval
From everyone but me 

Time moves faster now
My years are few nor many
And in the eyes of some
My days are still aplenty

Who I could have been
Doesn’t matter anyway
Because who I could have been
Will start again today 

~ From the chronically insecure and anxious brain of me, Amy Larson Hunter 2022

I’ve always had such debilitatingly low self esteem. As I get older, I see how it hasn’t done my life any favors. In many ways, I think I saw being humble and self sacrificing as noble and/or heroic. It never occurred to me that I could be noble and heroic without being a doormat, worrying about whether or not I was too fat. It never occurred to me that I could be kind, compassionate, loving AND strong at the same time. I wonder what life could have been like if I hadn’t had so many negative thoughts about myself…. If I had believed in myself? Unfortunately, I think there are so many women who feel this way, too. I hope we can all somehow just give that up and be a bunch of bad-asses! 😛

14 thoughts on “Who Could I Have Been?

  1. Holy crap. I met you once before in a coffee shop in the heights… It must have been for a film or a story or something. Thinking 2016-2017 or thereabouts? Anyway, doesn’t matter. Cool poem! I like it!

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    • Thank you very much, Mom ❤ I'm not much of a poet, but YOU definitely are. So, I think I can really say I learned it by watching you!! 🙂

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  2. Ok, you’re well on your way to writing a Seussian (in my case, a Silversteinian) children’s book with your two. Do it!! You are wickedly funny, Amy; that’s a great poem for the more reflective parts of your new children’s book that you’re going to write (😁) but remember to sandwich those in between the whimsical, crazy funny ones. Now imagine you keep writing these reflective, informative, educational ones threaded with gut-busters and you run every single one by your kid/s for approval. They know what they’d wanna read, ya know? Yes! Give a copy to their school library, etc. Offer to come and do a book reading with the other kids in various classrooms, then the book signings, Barnes & Noble WITH your kids as your co-authors. This is what I did with my 2. 😉 (Sans the fancy pants book signing because I chose to do the college thing forEVER.) If anyone is in a prime position to do this, it’s you. I seriously have whole body chills right now. I hope to encourage you! Nobody said the road is easy, but with one little Angel on each shoulder, the road is your oyster. 😉 (I went through Authorhouse, same as the author of Legally Blonde. She just decided to write a book one day and submitted it to them. We know how that went!) xx

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    • I do not think it is possible to thank you enough for being the Angel on my shoulder!! You have been so beyond encouraging to me and my writing, and you don’t even have to be! Thank you SO MUCH!! ❤

      I have started college again, too…. for art. I really DO hope to be able to write (and illustrate) a children's book!

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    • I do not think it is possible to thank you enough for being the Angel on my shoulder!! You have been so beyond encouraging to me and my writing, and you don’t even have to be! Thank you SO MUCH!! ❤

      I have started college again, too…. for art. I really DO hope to be able to write (and illustrate) a children’s book!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was so happy to see another Amy post in my inbox! I’ve been thinking about the same things a lot lately, I have gotten in my own way so much. But today is a good day to stop listening to that damned critic 💜

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