Have you ever felt perplexed by your own writing? Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve noticed some rather befuddling scenarios with my writing…minor differences…if you will. Some days, I feel as though words just fly out. Other days, the ability to construct a coherent sentence, escapes me. This bothers me, so I’ve been contemplating the influence different beverages might have on my writing.
Please note the following examples:
Example: “I vehemently denied sneak eating ice cream for breakfast, even though I totally did.”
Example: “I vehemently denied the fact that I vehemently denied anything…vehemently denying the whole vehement denying ice-cream thing…vehemently.”
Example: “I may have vehemently denied vehemently denying anything, but there is no denying I’m ready to bust out the badass.”
Example: “The left inferior frontal gyrus plays an important role in the neuronal structure that influences one’s proclivity to carry out effective syntactic computations.”
Example: “Shakespeares’s Coriolanus, addresses matters of power, reputation, honor, nobility, and the common Shakespearean theme of the instability of identity.”
Example: “Dude, I totally stole that monopoly picture, and then I misused that semicolon again, and I was like: WHO CARES! Rock on…-n-stuff” OMG OMG!! The little orange comment thingy lit up!! I have to hug something…or call someone to express my joy!
No Example Necessary: I have decided to abstain from doing anything under the influence of liquor after I tried some whiskey at the *Testicle Festival in Montana, and my face had an unfortunate encounter with the ground that was followed by me getting carted off in an ambulance singing “Can I gett’a WHAT WHAT”.
Note the significant shift in sentence structure after the consumption of wine. There must be something in wine that screams I will create the illusion that you are sophisticated and eloquent….with your words!
I wrote this post under the influence of green vegetable juice, which doesn’t seem to illicit the same level of sophistication as wine, but it’s probably better than the word “vehemently” running laps around in my head all day. And it’s definitely better than what would have spilled out if I’d had something like…rum. THAT would have been dangerous… and Pirate-y.
P.S. The Testicle Festival sounds kind of pervy, but it isn’t…its a festival for Rocky Mountain Oysters. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I didn’t make it to trying them.