Writing Under the Influence

Have you ever felt perplexed by your own writing? Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve noticed some  rather befuddling scenarios with my writing…minor differences…if you will. Some days, I feel as though words just fly  out. Other days, the ability to construct a coherent sentence, escapes me. This bothers me, so I’ve been contemplating the influence different beverages might have on my writing.

Please note the following examples:

Water

Example: “I vehemently denied sneak eating ice cream for breakfast, even though I totally did.”

 

Water-glass.65135259

A refreshing glass of water. An example of my writing in its purest form; not too horrible, but not all that great, either.

Coffee

Example: “I vehemently denied the fact that I vehemently denied anything…vehemently denying the whole vehement denying ice-cream thing…vehemently.”

coffee

I really like coffee, but certain words like to run laps around in my brain when I drink it.

Irish Coffee

Example: “I may have vehemently denied vehemently denying anything, but there is no denying I’m ready to bust out the badass.”

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Coffee with a kick. I’ve actually only had this once…

White Wine

Example:  “The left inferior frontal gyrus plays an important role in the neuronal structure that influences one’s proclivity to carry out effective syntactic computations.”

stock-photo-3532850-white-wine

I like white wine

Red Wine

Example:  “Shakespeares’s Coriolanus, addresses matters of power, reputation, honor, nobility, and the common Shakespearean theme of the instability of identity.”

red-wine

I am also fairly enthusiastic about red wine

 

Beer

Example:  “Dude, I totally stole that monopoly picture, and then I misused that semicolon again, and I was like: WHO CARES! Rock on…-n-stuff”  OMG OMG!! The little orange comment thingy lit up!! I have to hug something…or call someone to express my joy!

TS-HE_Beer-vs-Liquor_s4x3_lead

Beer is probably my favorite…you know, the good microbrew kind. But, I always worry that it’s not very lady-like.

Liquor:

No Example Necessary: I have decided to abstain from doing anything under the influence of liquor after I tried some whiskey at the *Testicle Festival in Montana, and my face had an unfortunate encounter with the ground that was followed by me getting carted off in an ambulance singing “Can I gett’a WHAT WHAT”.

Note the significant shift in sentence structure after the consumption of wine. There must be something in wine that screams I will create the illusion that you are sophisticated and eloquent….with your words!

I wrote this post under the influence of green vegetable juice, which doesn’t seem to illicit the same level of sophistication as wine, but it’s probably better than the word “vehemently” running laps around in my head all day.  And it’s definitely better than what would have spilled out if I’d had something like…rum. THAT would have been dangerous… and Pirate-y.

P.S. The Testicle Festival sounds kind of pervy, but it isn’t…its a festival for Rocky Mountain Oysters. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I didn’t make it to trying them.

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74 thoughts on “Writing Under the Influence

  1. LOL love it! I find that my writing flows easier when I’m under the influence of wine or vodka, I guess because I’m not over-thinking everything I’m writing. It’s handy for writing fiction but a little bit of a headache when I sober up and start editing. Wine totally makes me feel more sophisticated….until I start swearing like a sailor lol

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  2. I find that ideas flow easily when under the influence of liquor or beer…it’s writing them down that becomes the problem. I had this one great idea while at a birthday party and I would tell you what it was if I remembered it. I do remember that it was good!

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  3. Baaahahaha the ambulance story. Sorry to laugh 😦 but just picturing it is kinda funny. Also, I love seeing girls drink beer!!! I’m not a drinker myself (allergies) but when I see a chick throwing back beers I love it. I think it shows she is low maintenance and fun to be around!

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  4. Hahaha! This is awesome! I usually stick to water and nonalcoholic beverages, too, when I write. Sometimes coffee. But usually I go with chai tea lattes. 😉 You’re hilarious!

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  5. Ok, first things first- “its” should be “it’s” (apostrophe in tact, ahem!) – fourth line down (damn the ENG COMP grammar Nazi!) but I won’t hold that against you. 😉

    This is too funny. You know, I use the word vehemently vehemently! (I really do. I’ve always liked that word.) And I totally get this: “I really like coffee, but certain words like to run laps around in my brain when I drink it” -coffee does that to you too, huh? Ugh. And “Can I gett’a WHAT WHAT” <<< hahaha….. you don't even want to know some of my ambulance stories. (And face-planting stories a la Tequila and Wild Turkey, so very 20 years ago.)

    That Irish Cream looks absolutely deelish. Great post. 😉

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    • UGH!! I can’t believe I did the “its” thing AGAIN! HA! Okay, it’s fixed now 🙂 Thanks for not holding that one against me 🙂

      You have some face planting ambulance stories, too? Haha. I guess we’re both pretty lucky! I am now vehemently opposed to me drinking Wild Turkey. 😉

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      • Oh man…I remember waking up on the other side of Indianapolis once (again, 20 years ago) 300 miles from home with a raging hangover. My friend (and partner in crime) “Lori” was in tow and we were wearing something denimy with safety pins in it. I’m sure Ratt and Bon Jovi played a part in our fashion choices the previous night as we were “slutting it up” (makeup, big hair- big BIG hair- lot of whiskey amidst a cloud of pot smoke) it was so the 80’s- haha…

        Anyway, we wandered around town the next day (in “Roachdale, Indiana” ) and found ourselves inside of an old warehouse, where somebody pulled a flipping COCKROACH out of a drawer that had been carefully packaged and stored away the year before. I was told they raced those roaches in an annual race there in Roachdale, Indiana. [Cue Twilight Zone music] (Now, try to imagine the scene: big hair, bad makeup, denim miniskirt WITH safety pins, raging hangover- 300 miles from home, and also told that you had just joined a carnival.) Oh this story does go on and on but I’ll just say that I made it home safely (and I really need to write a tell-all book…nobody would believe me, I swear) and there’s a reason that I quit drinking whiskey 7 years ago.

        p.s. Guinness Stout is the stuff! 🙂

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  6. “Some days, I feel as though words just fly out. Other days, the ability to construct a coherent sentence, escapes me.”
    You’ve read my mind! Seriously, I feel an uncanny connection to you right now. Thank you for being so brilliant.

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  7. wahahahha hilarious! Wait, where’s for tea? Don’t you drink tea? I’d like to see its influence on you.

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    • Oh my gosh! I forgot tea! I DO drink tea…sometimes excessively! 😀 Hmmm….maybe I’ll have to write another one…there are so many different types of tea… Thanks for the idea! 🙂

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  8. Hey~!! I am sorry it’s been so long since i’ve posted on your page! This is a brilliant blog which made me laugh. I can totally relate to it. You know, I feel that some of my best ideas for blogs (not so much sentence structures) occur after I have taken medication…especially sleep pills hahah. I need to try out the wine too! I love wine but have never had it before I blogged. I could definitely use some help with my spelling so it’s worth a shot~! great post!! ❤ hope uve been well!

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    • No worries Jen 🙂 I’m glad to see you whenever you have time!

      I’ve never tried writing before taking a sleeping pill…haha! I wonder what would come out? Hope you are well, too. I’ve missed you! 🙂

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      • thanks same here! well whatever would come out I highly doubt you would remember it. I kid you not I wrote posts and totally forgot I wrote the until I logged into my page haha it was so weird. I guess that is why a lot of song writers, directors, etc did great work while under the influence haha. Not that I promote that but there is something about the brain becoming inspired when it feels awesome 🙂

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  9. I got directed here by Hickory Ridge Hobbies and really enjoyed the blog. I LUV wine, I like sweet drinks that sort of sneak up on you. I enjoy drinking beer with one of my sons and hard lemonade with the other one. I’ll definitely be back for more of your insight Nd wisdom.

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    • Thank you rynnasaryonnah 🙂 Glad to hear that you don’t think it’s unladylike to drink beer. I am inclined to agree with you. Not sure where I got that idea that it may be in the first place!

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  10. Take it from me, don’t ever try to write or do anything under the influence of Ambien. I got much feedback after just reading my e-mail like”Why did you send me this?” or “You must have taken your Ambien before you sent me this! or “What were you thinking?”

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    • Hahaa! I have never taken Ambien, but now that you mention it, I will be sure to steer clear of writing anything under the influence of it! 😀 Would love to see some of your Ambien induced writings!

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  11. Well, I am late to this party but it was a suggested post :). White wine is my beverage of choice but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve posted at night while drinking it, and then woke up panicked about what I posted! The Testicle Festival huh? Do you live in Montana? I used to live in Hamilton.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. LOL…I thoroughly enjoyed this Lady Wrecking Luck. 😉 Stumbled across your comment over on Jessica’s blog I follow and somehow knew I needed to hop over to find golden morsels of proper blogging and writing under inspiring libations! You apparently have “much to say on this technique” and I shall experiment with your recommendations thoroughly!

    So I will peruse and consume more of your fine writing skills and topics of hilarity Ma’am. 😈

    Liked by 1 person

      • Well, my blog isn’t for everyone — I enjoy raw wide-open dialogue and exchange of ideas. Nothing is out of bounds or taboo, as long as it’s kept civil. Nevertheless, I hope you find some value in its various topics/categories. And of course ANY thoughts & feedback are welcomed.

        Thank you ahead of time. 🙂

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