Over the past several years I have experienced a few (okay, a lot of) setbacks. I walked around telling myself (and everyone else) “Oh, I didn’t really want that career” and “It wasn’t the right relationship for me, anyway”. There is probably some truth to those statements; still, I felt completely rejected…like a total loser at life; a complete wreck. I suppose I had what could be called a
major little bit of an existential crisis. All this work I had put into something I thought I wanted, and SHABAM! Nothin’. Or, at least that was my state of mind at the time.
I needed to do something; anything, on my own, to help me feel less loser-y. I have a slight perfectionism problem when it comes to anything I do. That, and my award winning fears and insecurities catapult me into full on freak out mode if I make any kind of mistake, and I almost always feel like I’ve made some sort of mistake. I worry and criticize myself until I end up in the fetal position, sucking my thumb, not having accomplished anything.
This blog is to help me conquer my fears and learn how to mess up freely, and learn how to handle messing up….freely (and hopefully develop some semi-decent writing skills, too). So, bring on the mistakes!