Operation Bad Ass

Okay, so, when I originally I decided to start this blog, I thought I would write about (and make fun of) my multi-faceted technological ignorance(s) as I  change careers. Poking fun at my technological mishaps (and the retardical thoughts that run rampant through my brain) helps me cope (and using made up words like “retardical”  helps, too).  But, as I write, I’m finding myself compelled to go beyond my tech tard-ness into other kinds of tard-ness.

To be honest, I’ve spent a significant amount of  my life letting my flaws (tard-ness) make me feel like a complete loser.

loser

I’ve watched my close friends and family members have families and become successful doctors, engineers, and other respected professionals.  I,  in turn, am a childless woman in my 30’s who continues to give  Amy-made magic macaroni tambourines for Christmas, cries uncontrollably at Hallmark movies, and repeatedly misuses the semicolon. So, at this point, I figure I have 2 choices:

1. I could keep feeling like a failure at life, and maybe go out and lose at some more stuff. I could add to the “Amy is a loser” pile of thoughts that have accumulated in my head…

OR

2. I could become a TOTAL BAD ASS and not let the trials of life get me down. I could learn from my failures and push through anyway, even when it sucks. I could forcibly brand the proper use of the semicolon into my brain, and make buddies with life (and maybe use metaphors like “make buddies with life” more often).

This is the kind of Bad Ass I'm talking about...with the wrist cuffs and everything

This is the kind of Bad Ass I’m talking about…with the wrist cuffs and everything

Or this kind...only, except for chopping the tips of peoples heads off, I would slice up the rules for the use of the semicolon, and just start throwing them around; as; I; please;.

Or this kind…only, except for chopping the tips of peoples heads off, I would slice up the rules for the use of the semicolon, and just start throwing them around; as; I; please;.

 

Check out this definition:

A badass isn’t someone who wears ripped leather jackets (although, I have tried that), a badass isn’t someone who breaks stuff to look tough (tried that, too), and a badass isn’t someone who fights for the fun of fighting. That’s the definition of a poser. Being a badass is completely different.

Unspoken Rules of Being Badass:

1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period. (Umm…except for blogging about being a badass…that’s totally okay).
2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.
3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.
4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.
5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.
6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don’t be stupid, you’ll die if you jump off a building.

7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not get into fights that aren’t worth fighting either.

So…I’m thinking I’ll go with option #2. Yeah, #2 sounds good. What do you think?
Like or comment if you support badass-ness!

P.S. Sorry I used the word “ASS”, mom. Something about “Bad Butt” didn’t sound right.

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20 thoughts on “Operation Bad Ass

  1. I think two sounds fantastic. I’m also in loser ville. I look at my friends who are constantly reaching those rite of passage moments that I seem to be lacking and wonder how I can do things right like them.

    I also lack the ability to use the semicolon properly and have to look up the proper use of it at least once a month.

    Great post!

    Like

    • HAhaa! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way, and has to look up the proper use of the semicolon at least once a month 😉 I get so embarrassed! Something about that piece of punctuation confuses the (@#*!&@explicative) out of me!

      Thanks for your comment! 🙂

      Like

  2. Get your macaroni ready; I totally want one of those magical tambourines. <– desperate attempt at throwing a semi-colon in to my comment 🙂

    Like

  3. Put on the yellow jumpsuit, I say. You don’t have to slaughter the rules of the semicolon, but don’t worry if a little gets on the floor. I don’t know those rules and I’m a freakin rocket scientist.

    Like

    • Okay, yellow jumpsuit: its on! A rocket scientist is indeed a respectable profession. I’m feeling that a magic macaroni tambourine that magically helps us remember the rules for semicolon use; may; be; in; order.

      Like

  4. Wow, look at what a wonder you are! So many people with comments BESIDES your mom!! You’re right. Bad Butt does not sound too great. I’ll allow you the a– word this time! 🙂

    Like

  5. Pingback: Blogging from the Big House « Lucky Wreck

  6. Hallmark make movies??? As for semi-colons; I’m sure I have no idea what the rules are and just stick one in whenever it feels right. (sounds like sexual innuendo – definitely not intended to be!!)

    Don’t be too quick to see yourself as a “failure” because you are single or not in a glamorous sounding career job with a personal assistant. I don’t think people are “successes” just because they have an impressive sounding job, or are in a relationship. I DO think people have made a success of their lives when they are clearly in a really happy, loving relationship – and that need not be with a partner, it might also be when I observe that someone has a warm, loving and supportive relationship with their family/parents/children/friends. I think this is what brings happiness in the long run. Don’t fall for thinking that the only measure of success is to mould yourself to fit with the images of glamorous, “successful/happy” people that are all around you in the media – and in those damn Hallmark movies!

    Like

    • HAhaha! Those damn Hallmark movies!

      Thank you so much for your input, Blathering! I agree with you. I am starting to find that “true” success is feeling happy and healthy in relationships with friends and family…and feeling happy with yourself…and not giving a whit about the rules for the use of semi-colons 😀

      Like

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