The Rager

Not long ago, I was laid off as the web maintenance and marketing department for a machinery vibration analysis company. I have never really been in to machinery…at all…but it was a job. It was a small company, hence the reason I was the head of the marketing department…and the only person in the marketing department.  After I was laid off, I hosted a party of self – deprecating thoughts. Old, traditional thoughts, new up and coming thoughts…they ALL came…it was quite the rager.


The Rager of self doubt hosted in my mind can be depicted by the large number of muppet characters seen here.

Spokesperson #1 for the New Up and Comers:

“If she had been any good at marketing machinery vibration solutions, she would have brought more money to the company, and they would have kept her…to market MORE machinery vibration solution stuff”

Spokesperson #2 for the Up and Comers:

Yes, she may not have enjoyed trying to promote enthusiasm for tachometers…and may not even know what a tachometer is, but she would have been able to pay off her student loans in as little as 52 years.  How can she possibly support herself and pay them off , now?

Spokesperson for the Older thoughts:

“True, True!  And, she failed miserably at her attempt to get into grad school. She may have gotten the all time worst math score in the history of the GRE math scores, and her brother is a doctor…  She has always been so bad at math, she probably won’t ever be able to do anything!  There was that D she got on that 8th grade math test…and speaking of 8th grade, she didn’t make the volleyball team, either…and…

Just then, another, perhaps stronger part of me (whom I like to refer to as “BAD ASS AMY”), magically appeared in a sparkly bubble like Glinda the good witch (pssst…I forcefully willed her to make an appearance). She reminded all the other thoughts that Amy may not have won the Nobel Prize for marketing machinery vibration solutions, and she may be downright awful at math, but she has succeeded at several things, too.  This can’t be the end of her. All the other thoughts stopped and listened as she said:


Bubble of Bad-Assness

“What if this is a good thing”?  They groaned as if to protest the idea that getting laid off from any kind of company, even a machinery vibration analysis company, could possibly be a good thing.  But, it was a weak protest because Bad Ass Amy has wonder woman wrist cuffs, and a samurai sword, and it’s hard not to listen to a nice lady with wonder woman wrist cuffs…and a samurai sword.

This is the kind of Bad Ass I'm talking about...with the wrist cuffs and everything

The Wonder Woman tiara thing commands attention, too.

While I was muddling my way through this delightful episode of internal turmoil, trying desperately to focus all my attention on Bad Ass Amy,  a friend asked if I would like to do research for some videos she was producing for a non-profit organization. It just so happens that “researching” things is one of  my top 5 favorite things to do, AND the videos were promoting a non-profit organization that I DO know something about, and care about.

We did the videos, and started to work on other projects. With her oodles of experience, reputable connections, and  passion for promoting causes (that  just so happen to be important to me as well), she started her own company.   She asked me, and a few others to join her, and now I am building an artsy and producer-y repertoire. I have a LOT to learn from her about producing, and we have a lot to do, but I think Bad Ass Amy gets to win this one. Maybe getting laid off from the machinery vibration analysis company wasn’t such a bad thing after all. 🙂 Also, I get to end a story with the phrase “it wasn’t so bad, after all” 😀

31 thoughts on “The Rager

  1. Yeah! Go bad ass Amy 🙂 She is much cooler than those negative old codgers!

    Good luck with you new projects, it’ll all work out for the best!



  2. Great story! Very inspiring, and true. I am glad you listened to Bad Ass Amy she seems to know what she is talking about. I am sure that not selling tachometers is much more fun. Strange how life works. Appreciate your writing, very interesting.


  3. “but she would have been able to pay off her student loans in as little as 52 years.” <<< Oh my goodness- I'm rolling over here. I'm up to about $35,000? Small peanuts compared to many I know. (Nevertheless, I feel you pain!) As always, you're achingly funny. Still laughing about this-

    "it’s hard not to listen to a nice lady with wonder woman wrist cuffs…and a samurai sword."

    Smart, funny, talented people (such as yourself) don't need to be held back by machinery job…solutions (I'd rather play in traffic, myself), so they actually did you a huge favour. I think you know that by now. So glad to see you're being utilized in areas that are not only rewarding to yourself, but beneficial to others. And I think you're only getting started. 🙂


    • monochromejunkie,

      I can’t tell you how much your comments mean to me! Your belief in me encourages me to keep going and moving forward, even when I feel like a loser. I appreciate that SO SO much. Thank you! 🙂


      • You are more than welcome. 🙂 You remind me a lot of myself sometimes! Really though, it takes guts (no, balls,) to spill out 1/2 the stuff you do. Half the time I’m holding my side from laughing, and half the time I’m pushing back teats of admiration (ok, I seriously meant to type teaRs, but you know what? That’s so darn funny, I’m going to leave it…) …fighting back teats of admiration because you put your heart into everything you do, and that carries over strongly to the viewer. You’re a storyteller, and I love that. 🙂 Wishing you a great day today with many laughs, smiles, and other good things! xo


  4. that is such a great ending to your story Amy! I’m sorry to hear you got layed off because I know how stressful a situation like than can be 😦 But I TRULY believe that things happen for a reason…we often do not realize the reason though until much later on. It’s great you were able to return to a place that was more positive and reminded you of the good things you HAVE accomplished. You were just probably not in the right field. Now, I’m sure you will be much happier. I’ve always liked the advice “Choose something that makes you happy, the money will come.” I used to beat myself up and down mentally when I lost a job that I was MISERABLE at. I look back and go why?! I was exhausted, poor, and unhappy at those places. We live and learn 🙂 good luck on your non profit research that sounds fantastic. If you get a min lmk what they are on and how it works. it sounds like something in the future I may be interested in because I LOVE helping people 🙂


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