Here it is. The follow-up to my version of 5 Truths and a Lie. Thank you, Jess Witkins, for the inspiration! Five Truths and Lie made deception delightful 😀
1. My front tooth is fake (it’s a dental lie). I ran into a pole whilst roller skating, and knocked the real one out.
Lesson: Live in the moment, but look at least two feet ahead of you if you are wearing roller skates.
This is the only one no one guessed as the lie. Apparently, the outcome of me + roller skates = predictable.
2. I got to ride in an ambulance after falling flat on my face at the testicle festival.
Lesson: Do not drink whiskey at an ambiguously named event.
I think I may have mentioned this one in a previous post, but this incident really sticks out for me when I review my life events so far. This is most likely because my friend told me I was singing “Can I get a What What” with the Grand Canyon carved in my forehead while I was riding in the ambulance. I am just SOOOOO not that gregarious in real life. But, at least now I know it’s possible for me to be that gregarious…with a drunken head wound.
3. I broke my wrist whilst snowboarding, but didn’t feel it; probably because I had experimented with the reefer that day.
Lesson: Don’t fear the reefer. It appears to be a pain killer (unless it is illegal in your state, in which case it is okay to fear it a little).
This is true. I broke my wrist snowboarding and I experimented with the reefer that day. If you live in Colorado, it goes against the rules not to go snowboarding. If you are an English major in Colorado, it goes against the rules not to test out the effects of the cannabis plant, at least once (Hint: I was an English Major in Colorado).
4. I broke my leg trail running with a guy I had a crush on. I was trying to be cute and chase a waterfall.
Lesson: Don’t go chasing waterfalls.
This is the lie AND the one most people guessed. I had an ear worm for the song, and really felt the need to use “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” as some sort of life lesson, so I did my best to concoct a believable scenario. I think the lesson I’ve learned here, is that I am just as terrible at lying on the internet as I am in real life. But, at least my right armpit is dry.
5. I won the archery ace award at summer camp.
Warning: I am Robin Hood incognito.
Watch out 😉
6. My car was totaled after a run-in with a hay bail.
Lesson: Hay, when messed with, is dangerous stuff.
This is true. My brother and I were driving to our grandfather’s funeral in the middle of rural South Dakota. We were arguing about what was on the tape deck when our argument came to an abrupt halt by the likes of a hay bail requesting a meeting with the back end of my Honda Accord: Standard Edition. Fortunately, we were not injured (neither was the hay bail), but it was embarrassing to admit to my friends and family, that my car had been senselessly attacked by an immobile hay bail.
Thank you for humoring me everyone, and taking a guess at my attempt to decieve. It was fun and I am especially excited that I was able to trick Ben. 😀