I got into a car accident on the way to work yesterday. It was wet and rainy and during rush hour. Prior to the accident, I was driving along happily (picture whistling). When I arrived at the point on the freeway where two major thoroughfares merge together, I stepped on my break, and without warning, my little blue sedan hydroplaned into a big SUV. It wasn’t a major accident. The rush hour traffic was slow enough that no one got hurt, but my car, and my pride sustained notable damage.
The nature of my work requires that I maintain my composure in order to be a source of support for others who are dealing with difficult times. So, when I did get to work, (two hours late) I had to keep my emotions and anxieties from talking to the police, in check. As I came closer to the end of my shift, it became more and more difficult to hold my crazy in. It was as if my emotions were doing the pee dance.
Once I got home, I let it all out. I cried about the fact that I got into an accident. I cried about the fact that the front of my car is jacked up. I cried about the fact that my jacked up car and I got a ticket and the SUV didn’t get a scratch (not that I wanted it to, just sayin’). I cried at the thought of having to pay for all of this. I cried about the fact that I am pregnant and I haven’t figured out a cute-sy way to tell everyone yet. Before I knew it, I was also crying about the fact that I never did get to go to space camp when I was a kid.
All of the worries and irrational concerns I’d ever had jumped out from their hiding places in my mind and yelled:
“BOO! BAH HahahahHA! You thought you’d gotten rid of us, but you were SORELY mistaken! Muahahahaaa!”
The flood of emotions didn’t stop there. My tears turned to anger.
“Hey, remember that supposed “dear” friend you made the movie poster for? And, he promised you over and over again how much more work he would give you? And how he would pay you, but he never did? You should probably hate him right now.” And at that moment, I did.
I didn’t know what to do with all of these feelings. So, I found some chocolate, and I ate it. I ate it thinking of how much I love it and I hate it. And then it was all better. The pregnancy hormones must have gotten to me…