As I approach the final stretch of my time being a pregnant lady, I’ve decided I’d better get on it and write at least one thing about the experience of being a pregnant lady… a “geriatric pregnant” lady, that is. Apparently, the term “geriatric pregnancy” was originally intended to describe the pregnancy of a woman who was 35 years or older. But, it seems that at some point (most likely due to the violent upheaval of hormonal geriatric pregnant ladies), the medical community decided to change the terminology to “advanced maternal age”. Here are some perks and perils I’ve noticed from my very first experience with pregnancy…which happens to be at an “advanced maternal age”.
1. I had a good, guilt-free excuse to get new clothes. The husband proposed that we save some money on this by graciously offering to allow me to wear HIS clothes throughout my pregnancy. But, when I demonstrated that just because something is big enough to fit around an enlarged belly doesn’t mean it has the elasticity to stay up, he couldn’t really say much.
2. People let me go first in public restrooms. So far, this has actually only happened a couple of times. It was a wee bit awkward for the people pleaser in me, but it really came in handy when my need to pee exceeded my need to please. So much so, that I am considering purchasing one of those phony strap-on bellies to have on hand in case of emergencies.
3. At the first sight of a little baby bump, kindly strangers come out of the word work and initiate conversation about the joys of pregnancy and parenthood. If procreation is something you had intended to take part in at the time of your pregnancy, and you don’t mind being loosely associated with the term “geriatric” at 35+, I’ve noticed it is an exciting time to be had by all!
1. Those new clothes I was able to get at the beginning of my pregnancy, seem to have gotten too small in the final stages. It’s starting to feel as though it might be easier to walk around in a toga.
2. As my baby bump grows, so do my feet.
Prior to being pregnant, I failed to appreciate the value of having feet that could fit into shoes. Apparently, your feet don’t go back to their original size, either. Bigger feet after pregnancy is a real thing. I can only imagine how big Mrs. Dugger’s feet are after having 19 Kids and Counting. I have a new appreciation for the phrase “barefoot and pregnant”.
3. At the first sight of a more significant baby bump, kindly strangers come out of the woodwork and initiate conversation … without a filter. Instead of hearing things like “Oh how exciting for you” while waiting in line a the grocery store, I’ve started to hear things like “When is your due date? … Holy crap! You’re huge! Are you sure there’s not two of them in there? I’ve heard that can happen”… At no other time does it seem socially appropriate for someone in a grocery store line to comment on a random woman’s physique, but for some reason, seeing a pregnant lady is equivalent to getting drunk; all inhibitions are gone.
Despite the fact that I am of an “advanced maternal age”, and I can no longer feel my fingers due to pregnancy-related carpal tunnel syndrome, the experience of being a pregnant lady has been a very good one for me. I can’t really say it has been any different than a regular pregnancy might be. I’m humbled by the amount of generosity and encouragement I’ve received from my family and friends, and no one (well, except for my little brother 😀 ) has referred to me or my pregnancy as geriatric.
If this were a food blog and not a “recover from my clumsy mishaps blog”, I would share my secret paleee-YO, pregnant lady-safe recipe to thwart cookie dough craving … Okay, I’ll share it anyway.
- 1lb chocolate chips
- 1lb chopped dates
- 1lb chopped walnuts
Place chocolate chips, dates and walnuts into a large mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly with hands and shove into mouth as quickly as possible. It doesn’t taste 100% like cookie dough, but it comes pretty close! 🙂